The Further Adventures of Quatre and Duo
by Jayni
Summary: [AU School Fic] Account of one (if not the last) escapade of Quatre and Duo.
1. I

Author's Note: I'm astonished anybody was able to make sense of this when the transitional breaks didn't publish. Sorry, I hadn't realized until it was pointed out in another fic of mine. Thanks to those of you who reviewed regardless of that confusion.

In their many adventures, somehow Duo always managed to surprise him. Maybe he was just naive. After the cheese grater incident, the impromptu panty raid, and the Road Trip from Hell™, the fact that they were entangled in the corner of a pitch dark basement after crawling through a broken window shouldn't have been that surprising.

"Duo?"

"Yeah, Quat?"

"... is that... your hand?"

Pause. Rustle of clothing. Quatre's breath caught.

"Oh. Yeah, I guess it is."

"Can you... move it?"

"Oh right."

Quatre let out a breath, finally, as Duo managed to feel his way upright. When Quatre found his bearings, he fumbled for his canvas knapsack to find his flashlight. With a firm shake or two, it blinded both of them.

"Jesus, warn me when you're going to do that!"

"You didn't warn me when you came crashing down on me!"

"Are you calling me fat?"

"... well now that you mention it, in that outfit..." Quatre passed the light over Duo from head to toe.

Duo snatched the flashlight from him, "Focus. There's not a lot of time."

xxxx

Heero should have been sleeping. He had to get up first thing in the morning to help Relena move into her new apartment off-campus. He had to get to the gym before that. Then he would have to drive back to campus and change to have dinner with her parents. Or he could bring another change of clothes with him... gym clothes, moving clothes, dinner clothes... but that would take up room in the car and he had to help her move, he had to see her parents, but if he didn't go to the gym, he'd feel like hell and he was thrown completely off kilter by her. _Again_.

Now was not the time to be changing into a pair of shorts, or putting on his running shoes. Or grabbing his hoodie off the back of his dorm room door, and heading out for a run.

xxxx

"Did you hear that?"

"What?"

"Shh!"

Quatre turned his head just in time to watch Duo come straight for him and tackle him into the corner.

xxxx

Heero was going to be considerate and quietly make his way outside, but once he got on the stairs, he just needed to get the hell out. Only the security lights were on at this hour, but they just barely qualified as 'light'. But he'd been this route hundreds of times in the last three years - he could do it blindfolded.

That is, of course, if the floor wasn't covered in shaving cream and unidentified sticky substances. Or if he hadn't tripped on a roll of toilet paper on the way down causing him to tumble down a handful of steps. And now he was lying in a very fluffy sticky pool on the floor while a wayward roll of toilet paper flew overhead to blanket him in pillow-soft lavender-scented goodness. He instinctively flexed his fist and it closed over what he could only identify off the top of his head as some form of feminine product.

xxxx

"He's just..." Quatre checked his voice to a hush, "... lying there."

"He didn't fall _that_ hard. Did you see who it was?"

"Someone bigger than us."

Quatre looked over at Duo. Duo looked back at Quatre.

"Bail?"

"I thought you'd never ask."

Quatre grabbed his bag and Duo dumped the rolls of toilet paper he was hording under his sweatshirt as they high-tailed it back to the basement.


	2. II

Quatre and Duo sat across from each other in Stevie's, the once prestigious diner where all the Hollywood stars used to come, which was now the hangout for delinquents past midnight everywhere.

Old rotted picture frames hung at strange angles, most of the booths had lewd drawings and tears in them. Couldn't really tell if the glasses were dirty or just plain old. But nevertheless, it had quickly become the duo's favourite haunt after their... exploits.

"Do you think he's okay?"

"Well, Quat, he did get up to chase us."

"He could have internal bleeding or something. If he was a jock, he could lose some hand-eye coordination or something. Brain damage – lose his scholarship!"

"Quat," Duo hushed, "... relax, man. Drink your milkshake." Duo pushed Quatre's glass with two fingers and nudged him to start drinking. "We'll hear about it in the morning, and I promise, if something really bad happens, I'll come clean."

"But I was there, too –"

"Quat. _I_ will come clean. The end. Drink your milkshake."

Quatre chewed on the straw for a bit, before submitting to Duo's command.

xxxx

"Injustice!"

Every occupant of the room collectively rolled their eyes as the residence advisor, Wufei Chang, went ballistic in his usual fashion. Meanwhile, Trowa Barton was tending to the developing bump on Heero's head.

"No concussion. You might want to get it checked out anyway though."

"First thing." After the gym. After moving Relena. After having dinner with her parents. He graciously took the icepack from Trowa and kept it to his head. "I'm going back to bed."

"You're not going anywhere, Heero Yuy!" Wufei marched over, tripping on the string of a bloated tampon. It stuck to his pant leg, and while he yanked it off, he continued, "The cops will be here in the hour, and you were the only witness."

The other guys around just watched, occasionally pointing out the finer details of their lobby decoration, such as the little bunny rabbits on the toilet paper, or the pink and blue streamers on the trophy case.

"Wufei, you know where he lives," Trowa offered.

"It's fine. I'll just. It's just another hour," closer to Relena. His eyes were already closing as he laid back on the stair case. Maybe he should call her. Maybe he should tell her what happened. Maybe he should tell her he can't make it.

... or maybe he'd just sit here and wait.

xxxx

"You gonna eat those?"

"I am."

"Tonight?" Duo pulled his hand away from his friend's basket of fries. "Look, I promise you, we'll check it out. We don't even know who it was."

Quatre had finished his milkshake and was now poking at some ketchup with an innocent French fry. "I know, I know. I just."

"I know, Quat, I know."

Nobody's ever gotten hurt before. The panty raid resulted in a few pillows being thrown, a few thongs stretched, but no one got hurt. And the Road Trip from Hell™ was all self-inflicted pains as a result of poorly negotiating gas and food money.

"Tomorrow, Quat, I promise."

The possibility of many more similar adventures for the two of them was looking a little grey.


	3. III

"_Heero_! How could this happen?!"

Heero moistened his lips and pressed them together thinly, holding the phone an inch away from his ear.

"I can't do this without you... you know how much stuff I have to move. _And_ you promised. And what dinner with my parents? Can you at least do that for me?"

It would be just another night of being asked when he will pop the _big_ question. He sighed into the receiver.

"Is that supposed to be a 'yes'?"

He couldn't find his voice. He was just so tired.

She wasn't always like this. She hadn't always been like this.

xxxxxxxxxxxx

"Bottom line? Your boy says he didn't see anything."

"But, Officer, can't you take finger prints? Lift some DNA samples?"

"Mr. Chang, I understand that your upset, but a lot of people come through here everyday - without a positive ID from Mr..." the officer flipped around in his notepad, "... Yoy -"

"Yuy," Trowa corrected.

"... without a positive ID, there's not a whole lot we can do."

Trowa watched as Wufei continued to steam, while the three pairs of cops scoped the place, one or two trying to hide their amusement. Some of the guys were still being questioned, but Heero was really the only person who had any answers - and not many, from the looks of it. And as far as Trowa was concerned it was just another prank.

Trowa was walking along the caution tape when his foot brushed under a trash can and hit something. Glancing around, nobody seemed to notice. He bent down casually picked up and pocketed the obstruction.

xxxxxxxxxxxx

"Can you see anything?"

"Not when you're climbing on top of my head!" Duo ducked down as Quatre's elbow made another pass for his ear. It was mid-morning, but there were still people around trying to catch a glimpse of whatever happened to bring the cops around in the middle of the night. The cleaning up process was underway, and several less than happy jocks were lugging around garbage bag after garbage bag out of the building. Several more were inside mopping... looks like the campus housekeeping had given up on them entirely.

"Don't you people have to get ready for class or something?!" A perturbed Wufei took his place at the top of the steps leading into the dorm. "There're people who _live_ here, you know." He started to get one cluster to back off the steps, but then something caught his eye. "Maxwell?"

Duo blanched.

"Wufei. Buddy. Pal, heard what happened. Crying shame... looks better than what happened last year though --" Duo tried to ignore the incessant poking in his back from Quatre. Wufei didn't say anything, but Duo did his best to remain cool. They couldn't implicate them last year with the packing peanut incident; they wouldn't get him this year for some minor TP incident... or at least, he hoped.

Wufei scrutinized him for another moment, "Third-year, right? English major. Fall term, last year, Introduction to Victorian Era." Duo felt like he was in mid-roll call. "Maxwell." Wufei seemed proud of himself for remembering, puffing up his chest slightly as he continued to look down at Duo from the top of the steps. Duo nodded to the address, and though he couldn't turn to look at Quatre, but the pull on the back of his shirt was a pretty good indication that the shorter blond didn't perform well under this kind of pressure. "... you have yet to cut your hair."

"How _astute_ of you," Duo enunciated. He didn't particularly like being talked down to, but he didn't want to draw too much attention either. Otherwise, he might have mentioned that Wufei's hairline receded half an inch since last year from tying it back too tight.

"Was anybody hurt?"

Wufei blinked as if just noticing Quatre for the first time. He passed an odd look between the two, as if drawing some conclusions... Duo clenched his fist. If this was any other day, any other circumstance...

"One injury. Possible mild concussion," Wufei paused in his listing, "... you were the first to ask." His eyes narrowed briefly, causing both boys to stiffen under his gaze, but then nodded with approval. "Thank you for your concern, but I must insist that you vacate like everyone else." Quatre nodded and gently led Duo down the stairs while Duo tried not to look as stunned as he felt.

"How did you -"

"There are still people in this world who respect courtesy, I guess," Quatre shrugged. They reached the bottom of the steps and Quatre languidly stretched his arms upwards and then yawned. "Well, I feel better, now. I think I'm going to head back and get some sleep."

Duo watched Quatre get a couple steps ahead of him... the blond's sudden mood shifts were still something to get accustomed to, even after living together for three years in residence. It felt like there was a computer in his brain or something that just pulled a switch and he went from hysterical to eerily calm and back again in zero seconds flat.

When they reached their building and Quatre drifted further ahead while Duo mechanically checked his mail. He rarely ever had any, since he only had his aunt left, but when she did send something it was always something good. He looked into his five by five inch cubicle, "Hey Quat! I got a package to pick up!"

Quatre didn't turn just waved over his shoulder as he dragged his feet up the stairs to the second floor. Duo shook his head a bit. Just another perfect end to another crazy adventure. He plucked the package notice out of his mailbox and stuffed it into his back pocket. As he was up anyway, he might as well head over to the head office across the street to go pick it up. Might be home-made cookies. Or socks. Or ... home-made cookies.

His steps quickened.

But they were halted by the sound of screeching tires. He didn't get to turn his head before it was thrown back for him. The sky was blue but then faded to black.

xxxxxxxxxxxx

"Oh my god, Heero! Heero, you _hit_ somebody! Oh my _god_!"


	4. IV

"Can you believe it? We've been up here twice in less than eight hours -"   
"What's going to happen now, Heero?"   
"It _is_ a university..."   
"Hey, it's that guy with the hair -"   
"Couldn't they have at least waited till _after_ I got off my shift?"

Duo's eyes were open and shut in the second it took for the sunlight to blind him.

"I think he's coming to..."   
"Do you think they'll make him cut it?"

Duo tried to bolt upright, but hands held him down.

"Easy there... the ambulance will be here any minute."   
"It's probably held up by that parade on the other side of campus."   
"What parade? The feminist speech gala, you mean?"   
"Gala, protest, parade - it's all the same thing here."   
"You have no idea what this society puts women through!"   
"_Clearly_ you've never been a man in a gender studies course!"

Duo groaned and tried to move again. If he was going to be laid up here, he didn't want to listen to _this_.

xxxxxxxx

"Now I'll never get moved today."

"Relena."

"Look, Heero, I'm worried about this guy, too," she off-handedly gestured to the near-prone figure laid out on the concrete. "But there's not much we can do about that now - after all, we've done enough."

"_I_ was the one that hit him."

"Yes, but you can't possibly take all the blame. He clearly wasn't paying attention... and he wasn't crossing at a corner or a crosswalk, and I don't think he even looked both ways..."

This was Relena's way of trying to make him feel better, he knew. She was just trying to cheer him up by displacing the blame. But Heero didn't need that right now. He didn't know what he needed, but... Heero rubbed his temples.

This wouldn't have happened if he just wasn't so tired.

xxxxxxxx

Trowa thumbed the pen knife in his hand. It was black with skull and crossbones with "MAX" in calligraphy beneath it.

'You really should learn to be more careful, Duo,' he shook his head and put the pen knife aside for now. He'd crossover to the co-ed dorms later and return it, 'That one could never stay quiet for long...'

xxxxxxxx

Quatre groaned and rolled over. He'd just gotten to sleep when the sound of sirens in the distance lulled him awake. He should've shut his window. It was probably another fire alarm... pot-smokers or something. He pulled the pillow over his head and tried to get back to sleep.

_"It's that guy with the hair..."   
"Do you think they'll have to cut it??"_

The pillow hadn't hit the floor before Quatre was out the door.

xxxxxxxx

Somehow, this was what all those English classes amounted to. Being near death and all Duo could think about was what Derrida would possibly have to say about this situation. Or, how to re-evaluate his circumstance in the post-modern perspective... or the fact that he was picturing the mother he never knew in his mind was some subverted Oedipus complex.

None of the voices around him sounded familiar. They were all buzzing, some louder than others, but they weren't exactly _helping_ in anyway... though they were keeping him awake. They wouldn't let him move his head, or anything else for that matter, but someone was kind enough to shade his eyes so he could open them. In the shade, however, he was just as tempted to keep them shut. It would take care of that final paper he had due next week.

"DUO! Holy fucking shit mother Mary Joseph!"

That was strange. That voice sounded familiar, but the words didn't seem to fit.

"Speak to me, Duo! Has he said anything?! Jesus Christ!"

... After all, Quatre was raised _Muslim_. 'Guess I was a bad influence in more ways than one...'

"Get out of my way!!"

'What happened to being polite, eh, Quat?'

"Duo, say something - _anything_ -... _Please_, Duo..."

Duo felt hands brushing his hair out of his face and opening his eyelids.

"I can't go another _year_ in this place without you -"

'And here you were the one who was always afraid people would get the 'wrong idea' about us...'

"Honestly, Duo, what the hell were you thinking?! Getting hit like that!"

Duo would've rolled his eyes if he wasn't afraid they mightn't roll back.

xxxxxxxx

"Do you think they're... I mean, that the two of 'em are -"

"_Relena_."

"What? ... it's a valid question."


End file.
